Wedding Favorite #1: First Look

Step 1: Calm, cool, and collected:

Step 2: Uh-oh! The dress is on, the mind is racing, and the chest is...splotching?!

Step 3: Momentary splotching disaster averted with some meditative breathing. I look a lot more relaxed than I feel!

Step 4: Phew! My sweet makes all my worries melt away :-)

**** So - I thought of a *great* way to dive into recapping the wedding/honeymoon/east coast celebration. Instead of doing long, meandering posts (as is my wont) and never finishing (or starting!) the actual recaps, I'm just going to pick a few favorites memories/stories/moments from each event to highlight. ****

My first "favorite": seeing Todd for the first time the morning of the wedding.

We'd separated shortly after the rehearsal dinner the night before. The morning of the wedding, I woke up early and went down to a beautiful room to relax, get my hair and makeup done, and spend time with my bridesmaids and family over a continental breakfast. Todd, on the other hand, woke up significantly later and headed straight to Disneyland with his groomsmen! They went on Space Mountain and a few other rides and then raced back to our room at the Grand Californian to get ready.

I wasn't nervous at all until it was time to put on the dress. Up until then, I was laughing, playing with my super-cute nephew Kendall, taking pictures, and just enjoying having my hair curled (see photo 1). But once Chrissie, my mom, and the others helped me into my dress, for some reason, I just started thinking about how I'd be up there, in front of all those people, probably crying uncontrollably, and I got a bit flustered. It didn't help that my appetite had remained steady in the weeks before the wedding and my dress wasn't exactly loose. In fact, in the interests of full disclosure, that dress - with it's double corset - was pretty damn tight. I can understand why Victorian ladies were always fainting having to deal with wearing stays and corsets all the time! And with the flusteredness, I got splotchy (see photo 2). I don't mean a lovely, delicate, Elizabethan rose blush type of hue. I mean angry, bright patches of red all over my decolletage area. I also got a little emotional. I started to think about how long we'd both planned and anticipated and envisioned this day, and I burst into tears thinking "Wow, it's finally here!"

After some calming words from the girls, some deep breaths, and sitting down in order to loosen up my diaphragm and allow me to breathe (!), I felt much better (see photo 3). Still, as I walked down the long hall, knowing Todd was waiting at the white piano at the end of it, I felt anxious.

Then I saw him. Saw how wonderful he looked in his tuxedo with the silver vest, his warm smile and eyes so full of love. Really, in that moment, as cheesy as it sounds, every bit of nervousness just evaporated. I realized that nothing mattered except that we were getting married. And that we were getting married because we knew and loved each other so well that how could we not? I just felt a happiness and a peace wash over me as I looked into his eyes. He gave me a beautiful silver bracelet with an "R" on it, and I truly knew that even though we'd become a family long ago, today we were making it official in front of everyone we loved and cared about, and in light of that, what else could possibly matter?

This and That

'Tis the night before Todd and my three month anniversary of being married (woo-hoo! this monthly celebration makes me feel as though I'm in high school again!), and, inspired by the lovely Alison, I've decided to write a little update post on what's been going on since I last left off.

Since September, I've been working full-time at the SF Public Defender, and I've finally had the chance to argue motions and do preliminary hearings on my own. It's exhilarating, scary, interesting, and exhausting.

We took a brief trip to LA about a month ago, which was a whirlwind of fun.

Over the last few weeks, I've been working very, very hard to prepare for the California Association of Criminal Justice (CACJ) trial advocacy competition that took place at the SF Superior Courthouse this past Thursday - Saturday. The Hastings team did really well - we made it to the semi-finals! - but I'm glad that it's over so now I'll have at least one night a week to have a proper dinner at home... At least the case was pretty fascinating - all about an over-eager organ-harvesting doctor who may or may not have hastened his patient's death to retrieve his organs more quickly!

In doing-fun-things-over-the-weekend news, Todd and I went to the Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Festival two weeks ago. We saw 1,600 pound pumpkin, a great home-town parade featuring little kids doing karate and firemen spraying each other with fire hoses, and many pumpkin-flavored things, such as bread, bars, and ice cream. It was a lovely time!

Now that the immediate stress of the trial advocacy competition is over (which I'd made into my "designated object" to avoid dealing with actual, huge stressors!), here is what I'm (most) worried about:

- MPRE Exam (ethics/professional responsibility that I'll be taking this coming March)

- Bar Exam

- Getting a job in LA (AACK - by far, the biggest worry, especially because I have such a narrow interest: becoming a public criminal defense attorney. But, because of the economy, I've decided to broaden my focus: at least for the first few years, working as a staff attorney at the LA Superior Court, or for a small to medium size criminal defense firm, would be fine. Basically, I just need to find a paying position which would be good experience while allowing me to have a bit of a life, and pay back my loans...)

I finally signed up for BarBri, and am also applying for an ABA scholarship to cover some of the cost of the course.

I'm also applying for some staff attorney positions in LA, and will hopefully be able to interview for them sometime in the next few months.

In order to keep my stress level manageable, I've made some "fun" goals for the next couple of months as well:

- to finish blogging about the wedding, and our wonderful East Coast celebration

- to make a giant Christmas list for everyone, and have a great time shopping for them

- to spend some quality time with Todd's and my family when we head back east for Thanksgiving! I'm looking forward to celebrating Todd's birthday, spending a day in NYC, and having some mother-daughter adventures in Boston and Connecticut

- to start on our wedding/honeymoon scrapbook - there's a giant green-striped box just brimming with odds and ends to incorporate

- to use our brand-new KitchenAid stand-mixer at least a few times to make Christmas cookies and other goodies for our work colleagues, and ourselves!

- to keep consistently working out at the gym - I feel great, my clothes fit better, and I want to make sure this habit stays firmly in place

Phew, that post felt very cathartic! Just writing out what one is stressed about has a very calming effect...